An "A-Ha" Moment

Today was one of the those days where, by the time it was over, throwing myself under a bus was starting to sound like a pretty good idea.  I came home and unwound in my favourite way: I ran a hot bath, lit one of my favourite candles, and settled in for a good long soak with a book.  Tonight's selection was one I actually bought about a year ago called Chicken Soup For The Soul: Life Lessons For Loving the Way You Live".  It's about how to be truly happy, in spite of all that life throws at us.  There's been a lot of really thought-provoking stuff in what I've read so far, but what really caught my attention is this paragraph: "Consciously or unconsciously, we create our lives.  We choose where we live, who our friends are, what our work is.  We choose whether or not we exercise, smoke, take drugs, donate to charity, get a degree, have pets, have a spouse, or have children.  We pick what we read, what we think and what we believe.  Our lives are testimonials to our choices.  Each moment is the point of power.  Each moment, we can continue to choose what we have already chosen or we can choose to choose again.  A life filled with abundance - both inside and out - is ours for the taking."

It's no secret that I often feel trapped (you only have to read my "Burned Out" post from earlier this month to see that).  What I realized after reading this paragraph is that any misery I'm feeling is entirely of my own making.  If I'm not happy where I am, I have the power to do something about it.  I really love my job, and I don't see myself leaving, but I can choose how I'm going to respond to all the not-so-good stuff that happens there.  Likewise, I can choose to do something about some of the other personal issues I'm dealing with.  Basically it boils down to the fact that I've made my bed, and now I need to decide whether I'm going to continue to sleep in it or take it apart and re-make it.  If I'm going to continue to sleep in it, then maybe I need to choose to change my attitude.  Seems I have a lot to think about.

Until next time,
J.

On Eagles' Wings

One of the things that I love the most about my daily commute is getting to see really cool, unexpected things: a coyote running along the ditch, a herd of deer off grazing in a field, a blue heron standing in a slough (I saw this just last week), a moose munching on leaves beside the highway, beautiful sunrises and sunsets.  And every once in a while, I see a bald eagle.  I was lucky enough to see one yesterday.  He was soaring along on the wind, but then he must have spotted breakfast in the field below, because he suddenly dove to the  ground.  I only got a quick look at him, but that white head and brown body are pretty unmistakable.

Watching him soar reminded me of part of my favourite verse from Isaiah: "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles..." (Isaiah 40:31a).  When I was sick before my transplant, I had this verse framed with a picture of an eagle in flight and hanging on my wall.  Whenever I was down, or I was having a bad day energy-wise, I would read those words and remind myself that the Lord was with me, and if I trusted in Him He would give me the strength to carry on.  To quote a song, He would be "the wind beneath my wings".  Never did I need that promise more than I did when I was going through all that.

Now I see this verse in a slightly different way.  I know that if I trust in God, he will give me the strength to soar, no matter what.  I saw a great placque once at Blessings that said something to the effect of "Live life with roots of faith and wings of hope".  It immediately reminded me of another verse: "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness". (Colossians 2:6-7).  This verse makes me think of a tree.  "Rooted and built up in Him" illustrates the tree's roots which provide its foundation, the same way that our faith provides our foundation; "strengthened in the faith" illustrates the trunk which is always growing and getting stronger just as our faith does, and "overflowing with thankfulness" illustrates the green leafy branches at the top of the tree.  If we have good, strong "roots of faith" then we are able to weather whatever storms life sends our way.  The "wings of hope" part of the quote brings me back to the eagle.  When I think of the whole quote I see a beautiful, big tree with good, strong roots going down into the soil.  It's growing in a field and reaching high to God.  In the clear, blue sky above the tree and eagle is soaring, his wings outstretched to catch the wind currents.  Roots of faith, wings of hope.  What an image!

Until next time,
J.

Feelin' Hot, Hot, Hot!

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting here wishing there was a breeze blowing outside.  Well, there is kind of a breeze blowing (I can see the leaves on the trees moving), but apparently it's not blowing in the right direction because I can't feel a thing.  It is so HOT tonight! Thank goodness for my ceiling fan.  Tonight might even end up being one of those nights where I move my pillows down to the other end of the bed so that I'm right underneath the fan.  I love my fan - I bought it for $5 at a community garage sale a few years ago, and now I'm wondering how I ever lived without it.

In honour of the heat, and the fact that (temporarily, at least) summer has arrived, here are my top 3 favourite ways to stay cool.
1.  Tim Horton's chocolate milk iced cappucinos (suddenly I'm craving one of these real bad LOL)
2.  Peanut butter chocolate milk shakes from Baskin Robbins
3.  Splashing in the dog's wading pool (we bought it for them two summers ago when it was really hot, but since neither of them is really wild about it, I use it more than they do)

Until next time,
J.

5 things that make a bad day good

So after my little rant last night, I was feeling a little down when I woke up this morning.  It was cold and rainy, and I was tired (of course that was my own fault for staying up until midnight playing Farmville on Facebook).  I had a hard time focusing on the work I had to do, and by 3:00 I just wanted to go home.  I decided that I needed a little lift, and so I came up with this list of 5 things that for me, always help make a bad day good again.
1.  Good music.
There's absolutely nothing like cranking the radio and singing along with my favourite tunes.  Right now in my CD player I have the new Lady Antebellum album.  LOVE IT!!! My favourite song is "Need you Now" - I can listen to that song 10 times in a row and not get tired of it.
2.  New shoes.
I love indulging in a little "retail therapy" at any and all times (the kids in my Sunday School can even tell you what my favourite stores are - I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing LOL).  Today I decided I was going to go look for a pair of sandals that I've had my eye on for a while.  I found them, and they had them in my size! I'm very excited about my new sandals.
3.  Chocolate.
I firmly believe that chocolate is good for what ails you.  'Nuff said.
4.  Puppy kisses.
Whenever I have a really bad day at work, there is something something so inordinately comforting in knowing that there's a little brown dog just waiting for me to come home.  When I come to the top of the stairs and see that happy little face grinning at me...well, there's nothing better than that! She's always so happy to see me, and always has tons of kisses for me.  Ever tried to stay unhappy when you're being kissed? Try it sometime; betcha can't do it!
5.  A warm relaxing bath/shower and my favourite PJ's.
The perfect end to a lousy day! Nothing like standing under or soaking in that hot water and letting it just wash all the problems away.  My favourite pajamas are bright yellow with Winnie the Pooh on them - I call them my "happy jammies".

And now 'cuz I'm in a good mood, I feel like passing it on.  Leave a comment telling me what picks you up when you're down and you could win an RAK!
Until next time,
J.

Burned Out

Do you ever wish you could run away and be someone else for a while? I have to tell you...right now I'm wishing that exact thing.  I've been pushing myself so hard at work for the last six months trying to keep my ahead above water with the new invoicing system that I'm feeling rather burned out now that I'm finally caught up.  When we first started this new invoicing process, they hired someone to help me with the invoicing until we learned the program and how it was going to work.  Beth keeps telling me now that I'm caught up I can finally relax.  Relax? Ha! I feel like I've forgotten what that word even means any more.  I keep thinking I'd like to go away somewhere, but I don't know where I'd go.  I have been considering taking one of the trips that Contiki offers, but I don't really want to travel by myself with a bunch of people I don't know.  I've also been considering seeing if one of my friends would take a trip with me, but our personalities are so different that I'm not sure how well it would work out.  (I actually had a dream about this one night - let's just say it was not a good situation LOL.)  The only thing I've thought of that actually makes me happy is taking a road trip and going to see my fave little brother is Rosetown.  He just moved into his own place, and he's been working at getting it all fixed up.  I'm sure he'd love to have visitors so he could show off his house and where he works (and I have to admit that I also want to meet "his" little girl Aselin, who is the daughter of Ryan and Amanda, Danielle's brother and sister-in-law and Jamie's good friends).  But then I start thinking that I don't know if I want to actually go anywhere.  At the same time, once in a while I start to feel like I just want to take Sarah and get in my car and just drive and drive and never come back.  Sometimes I feel so trapped here, and I want so badly to escape but I don't have anywhere to escape to.  Sigh.  It seems like I just don't know what I want right now.

This post is starting to sound really negative now, so I'm think it's time for me to go to bed.
Until next time,
J.